Some highlights:

• My dad cooked me breakfast and gave me an automatic garage door opener. Normally to get into the garage door now I have to unlock the side door, then go in and unlock-n-life the garage door from the inside. -Then- get back into my car and back it in and do everything in reverse. In the rain or snowpocalypse this can get tedious, but now I’ll be able to open the door easily.
• Dad also went down to our old hometown icecream shop (the best in the world ,fyi), and got me an icecream cake.
• Co-workers surprised me a card and some cash (we all know where that’s going ), and my department surprised me with an additional card and a giftcard to the organic market. They also decorated my desk with black balloons and gave me a gag gift of one of those 8-ball fortune teller thingies, but shaped like a males appendage .
• Another co-worker baked me an amazing chocolate and peanut butter conglomeration.
• Volt restaurant (Bryan Voltaggio’s restaurant of top chef fame) came up and gave me an amazing icecream dish with “Crystal lettuce” on it and a candle.
• The boyfriend sent me a package with some more cash, a simm card for my new cellphone so I can listen to music, and a few other little things for a project I am working on.
• My aunt and my father both put an announcement out on the local radio station.
• My co-workers went out with me for dinner for indian food (some against their dislike for indian food), and the indian restaurant gave me a free dessert dish. Our waiter was a little awkward though, I think I may go to a different restaurant next time A co-worker paid for my meal against my wishes, but I’ll get her back.
• Another co-worker gave me a Downtown Frederick giftcard when she heard I was going out for dinner because she wasn’t able to go as well. Course I didn’t get a chance to use it, but will have to reciprocate the favor by using it to pay for someone elses lunch sometime.
• My social networks (especially facebook) exploded with birthday wishes from a lot of amazing people. Even some social networks I forgot I was on

So all and all it was a -very- good birthday, and all the people who took time to just communicate well wishes to me is a good representation and first step into my 30′s. I’m looking forward to the rest of them

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE 1930′s, 40′s, 50′s, 60′s and 70′s

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn’t get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered

With bright colored lead-base paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes,

We had baseball caps

Not helmets on our heads.

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.

Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes made with Lard, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And, we weren’t overweight. WHY?

Because we were always outside playing…that’s why!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on..

No one was able to reach us all day. And, we were OKAY.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps

And then ride them down the hill,

Only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Play stations, Nintendo’s and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD’s,

No surround-sound or CD’s,

No cell phones,

No personal computers,

No Internet and no chat rooms.

WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We would get spankings with wooden spoons, switches, ping pong paddles, or just a bare hand and no one would call child services to report abuse.

We ate worms and mud pies

Made from dirt, and

The worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team.

Those who didn’t had to learn

To deal with disappointment.

Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best

Risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever.

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. What can kids today do besides push buttons.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.

Dad has been back since, but I’d never been back until yesterday. There were a couple of times I wanted to, but could never muster up the gumption to actually go.

The yard was pretty desolate. Considering the amount of plants and flowers we had, the way it is now looks entirely foreign to me. There is insane overgrowth where there were once paths and cut grass that we’d sit out on. The back yard itself is just a mad jungle.

The front door was deadbolted, so we made our way to the back door and found our way inside. The smell of mold and……I don’t even know what else, was pretty overpowering. We all had to hold our noses as we walked through, using our other hand to try to navigate through the mass of spiderwebs. My cousin Steph let me take some pictures with her cellphone, because we were all just in shock at how bad things were. I cannot believe that just a year ago…my father and I were living in such horrible conditions, and for so long. I told Steph that this is what I imagine a house in a third world country to look like. I won’t even get into how the kitchen floor looked like it was starting to turn green with mold

Steph couldn’t believe how bad things actually were either, but I told her that when we were living here and had all of our belongings here, it looked much different. I guess the energy of the home would have been different too. We coped and patched things as best we could while we were there. Now that there is no one there to tend it, it just turned dark and gross.

The comparison from that house to the house we bought is unimaginable. I am actually grateful that I had the opportunity to go through something like that. To not only live in filthy conditions but to also move on to something normal, and be able to leave behind so much clutter and junk (and I don’t just mean physical stuff either).

The next two months of staying with family to recuperate are much of a blur. But I can’t forget the kindness my Aunt showed us while we stayed there, nor the good things I enjoyed about living there (the sunrises were AMAZING).

I’ll post pictures tomorrow (I left them at work). But even then they won’t be able to describe how things really looked.

The only drawback was that a lot of the people who I think could have benefited the most from the workshop were not in attendance. I chalk most of that up to being done on Easter, so I will have to go through and teach it again sometime (or just share the pdf with them, or something).

If there’s enough interest, I may post the document for others outside the Grove as well.

Afterwards I was treated to dinner at Amer’s Cafe for my birthday, which is a Mediterranean restaurant down in Baltimore. I was also given two bottles of mead that I love

I also henna’d my hair as a treat to myself.

I did go to work today, despite it being my birthday, and my co-workers devised a cake surprise for me, the topic of which had me cracking up most of the day. Picture below:

(this is a photoshop image I did a while back of one of our IT guys on Fabio’s hair/body)

The upcoming weekend is a camping trip to see some good friends that I’ve missed very much.

A quote from a restricted entry of my journal from January 2008:
“My problem is mainly with, if you fully devote yourself spiritually to a Grove or the vision of that Grove, it shouldn’t matter whether you are leadership. That shouldn’t be the deciding factor on whether or not you support or retain your membership.”

My father, however, had a very emotional Christmas, which I was able to capture on video to save for all time.

January 2008: “So tax season is upon us, and I expect a decent amount back in taxes. ”

January was spent doing a lot of reflections on my finances over the last 2 years. I did a lot of work on my genealogy, was supposed to work on a website for a famous percussionist which turned sour, and had an old account identity thefted which was fortunately caught before any damage was done. We also got a call from the lawyer for our old property that said they were definitely going to be selling it but that we had first dibs.

February 2008: “The Digerati Life asks How did you get interested in Personal Finance? *rolls up her sleeves*”

February was another month of financial fun with my tax return coming in, our washing machine going up and me purchasing a new one, the appraisal for the old house coming in at $200k, me refinancing my auto loan, and dad ending up in the emergency room for a bad allergic reaction.

I also attended the Washington and Baltimore Pagan Leadership Conference for the first time, and though I got to do some networking, was extremely bored.

March 2008: “So I got the prescription from the eye doctor, but they did not include the Pupil Distance, so I had to measure that myself (after much google searching to make sure I would be doing it correctly).”

March was somewhat stressful. My uncle had a bad chainsaw accident, and not long afterwards his wife had a major heart attack. I attended the Ecumenicon Conference and posted an unbiased and open review (not negative, mind you), and was openly blasted by the leader of the Conference for it. But March had it’s good moments as well as I started planning what to do with the upcoming Economic Stimulus, and I won an award at work for one of the websites I worked on at the Addy’s. I also got to spend time with the Vice Arch-Druid during his Southeastern tour of the ADF Groves. We were able to have a lot of good conversations and got to know each other on a more real level.

April 2008: “I received a reply to my offer on the house from the lawyer (I only called them Tuesday, so this is pretty quick).”

In April I made an offer of $100k for our house, hoping that they would accept since the house was condemned and the only thing of value being the land. I received an immediate reply of “No.” I then wrote a letter offering $150k. This is essentially when the games had begun, but I wouldn’t know how awful things would get until later.

We planted potatoes, I had a birthday cookout of steamed crabs and drumming with some of my closest friends, we killed a lot of rabbits. I attended the Trillium Festival and had a good time as always.

And I was told again that the lawyer could not go below $175k for our house, the nieces and nephews wouldn’t budge at all. But the lawyer also said they would not be doing anything to the house without talking to me first, which later I found out was a big fat lie.

May 2008: “Our technician just left from installing our Comcast Triple Play so we now have their phone service. Here’s to saving $400/year.”

May was busy with all sorts of things. I attended the Baltimore Herb Festival, I attended another Sweatlodge, I started preparing things financially for buying our house. I even broke a molar accidentally and had to get that fixed in June.

June 2008: “Many purchases these days are a waste. They are simply people buying things they don’t need with money they don’t have to impress people they don’t like.”

Very few good things about June. I taught a workshop on lazy environmentalism at the Grove, which went over well due to my smartass approach. I was also able to get some genealogy information from my mother, after struggling for so long to get -anything- from her. I also participated in a massage oil workshop and got to make my own oils, which turned out fantastic with a mixture of patchouli and vanilla.

The biggest thing, however, is receiving the eviction notice to be out in 30 days because the estate “hadn’t heard from us on whether we were interested in the property.” Despite them telling me earlier that they’d talk to me before doing anything. Hell I had already made plans to try and buy it for $175k.

July 2008: “If there was one fear in my life that was the most scary for me, it’s feeling like I can’t support myself or my father. And when that fear is abruptly shoved in your face, it’s like living a nightmare. And that’s what this is, a nightmare.”

This really encompassed the majority of my July. I mean I cried. I cried a lot for the first week. And almost instantly I buckled down and we moved an entire farm in 25 days. I was exhausted, my father was exhausted and created another ulcer on his leg due to all the moving. This month was the start of hell. I literally had to come to terms with my worst fear in life of not being able to support my father, and figure out a way around it (and did).

It was as if a switch had been turned off, and the house no longer felt like ours. It was strange to be around, strange to sleep in. And scary not to know where we’d be living.

We started looking at other houses after deciding not to waste the money on a condemned one. I didn’t bother telling the lawyer either, I let them figure it out on their own. They did eventually send people to do drive-by video tapings while we were moving. I sat there and watched them, the assholes. We plowed up all the crops because dad said he wasn’t leaving anything for those bastards. We took all the livestock to auction, except a select few we’ve been keeping at my uncles up in Orrtanna.

I sold one of my broken down trucks with a blown engine for $500 cash, which helped with the moving process, and my frustration with realtors began to grow. We moved in with my Aunt and lived out of suitcases for the next two months. I started making mortgage payments to myself so I could adjust my monthly finances accordingly (not to mention have 2 months mortgage payments saved up for emergencies).

August 2008: “Dad and I went to drive-by two cabins yesterday (since I can’t get my realtor to schedule anything.”

August was sort of a tease when a mysterious $25,000 got deposited into my bank account, which I later found out was just a bank error. I had all sorts of plans made up immediately with that money though, just in case. Most of the month was spent looking at houses and researching the mortgage and home-buying process. I learned -tons- over the next few weeks, and made sure to document it for other first time home-buyers to make it less scary. I also had to redo my 5-year plan to involve this new nightmare. We made a bid on our house and just in time as someone else bid the very next day, and at a higher amount.

September 2008: “Dad and I settled on the new house today. It was actually very painless, and the previous owners are super cool.”

During September I was feeling pretty comfortable with the whole housing ordeal. On the last day of the month we settled and the house was officially ours. We were getting used to living with my Aunt and my outlook on the whole situation really made a turn for the best. I got a raise at work and my dad and I were finally feeling settled down from the move, despite still being homeless.

October 2008: “I’ve noticed I’m more disoriented in the mornings now because my usual routine is different.”

October was spent getting settled into our new house. We unloaded our storage trailer, finally got beds and furniture, started getting utilities and bills set up at the new place. I was in awe at how much I love dishwashers now, and we started realizing how perfect everything came out after our tragedy. We couldn’t have found a more perfect place at a more perfect price. I was excited to make my first mortgage payment.

November 2008: “The weirdest thing I’ve noticed about the house that I’m having difficulty getting used to, is the space.”

November is when things started settling down and getting back to normal. We started working on the house by putting up a new chimney. We celebrated our first thanksgiving in the new house, and my sister started a job at 14 (and promptly quit the next day). The most amusing part was the old house started to decline in price below where I had originally offered. But we knew that we were much better off where we are now, still it doesn’t mean we’re not amused

Changes in 2008:

- In March 2008 I had made a blog post about how I wanted to break out of the Christmas Habit of spending lots of money on presents out of obligation. Though I forgot about this “desired experiment”, I did actually participate in it involuntarily since most of our christmas money was put on the down payment for the house. So I only had about half of what I usually do for Christmas in 2008, and though so far Christmas feels very satisfying, it does have somewhat of a sadness attached to it because I was not able to get some people gifts as I would have liked.

- In March I also talked about what I’d like to improve in my personal finance management, and out of the 4 things, I must say I’ve accomplished at least 3 of them. I do not do so many impulse buys anymore. I do pay all of my bills in advance that I can, car insurance being the main one. And I have reduced my monthly expenses to their absolute minimum (though I may re-evaluate this now that we have the house).

- I grew a lot this year, not really voluntarily. The thought of buying a house and everything was so intimidating and out of reach before. Having to buy one because you were about to be homeless is even scarier. Now it just doesn’t seem that bad at all, if you have the discipline to do it. And it really does take discipline, which I think is a good portion of the reason for the recent housing crisis. I know APR’s and predatory lending are a part of it as well, but I just have no sympathy for people who complain about trying to get by every paycheck, but eat carry-out and buy Ipods or video cameras or brand new cars. It really is just all about discipline to live below your means. It’s just that simple.

Plans in 2009:

- Pay off Car by March
- Really delve into the macrobiotic food and being healthier in general
- Go “gun ho” about paying off my dads loan by September or October
- Start teaching my sister more about personal finance
- Finish the Grove Membership Manual
- Put the MUD into Beta testing
- Complete more DIY projects to the house to save money
- Resist impulse buying more
- Cook a larger variety of meals at home (we already eat at home quite frequently, but don’t always have the supplies handy to try new things)
- Do more of the things I enjoy, and less of the things I don’t by cleaning up my todo list
- Invest in myself more, my skills and knowledge to make myself worth more
- One our debt are paid off, put my savings deposit back up to $400/month and increase our monthly mortgage payment
- Do more purging of items and selling off of things I didn’t get a chance to before the move, including my electric guitar and some jewelry
- Read more, which I’ve been improving on slowly
- Get back to our $200/month grocery budget for dad and myself
- Continue to surround myself with people that compliment my values in life, rather than drag me down. Continue to realize that I have every right to be picky about who I want in my life, and surround myself in excellence. “Show me your friends, I’ll show you your future”.